Sunday, May 29, 2022

My Truth About Religirards and God

My truth is…religitards are dicks.

 I have an epic problem with religitards.

Before I continue, let me define exactly what a religitard is.

Religitards are those people who are blinded by their belief in God. They're those people that every other word in every other sentence include “God" or “Jesus”, or etc. They're those people that every other post on social media is about promoting their religion, or asking for prayers knowing damn well they're wasting their time because it doesn't do shit, or either asking other sheep to say “Amen"/posting “Amen" on EVERY SINGLE POST that says to do so. They're those people who without any hesitation, will turn their backs on their friends and family because they’d rather stand by their invisible skydaddy or their bible.

If any of those descriptions offend you, then yes, I'm talking about you…religitard.

Yes, you can call me angry, call me a hater, tell me I'm going to hell, whatever. But guess what? THERE. IS. NO. HELL. So stop worrying about me because I don’t believe in your asshole of a deity.

One thing I will never understand is how can seemingly intelligent people believe in something so dumb? My sister is the most intelligent person I know, yet she goes to church and prays. I'm sorry, but religion has made you stupid by believing in some really stupid shit.

I am tired as fuck of you. I'm sick of being bombarded with post after post of religious bullshit. I'm sick of people that won't talk to me because you're afraid my Satanism will rub off on you. I'm sick of not being able to express my opinions without being judged by those that think they are “holier than thou”. I’m sick of those that think their shit don't stink because they believe in a higher power. And I'm especially sick of those that think their God should be forced on those that either don't believe, or are too young to even think about what to believe. You know, the people that oppose gay or interracial marriage because it's in your precious bible; the people who offer “thoughts and prayers" after tragic events such as mass shootings and 9/11; and rhe people who have tons to say about transgender people being pedophiles, but do nothing to stop the actual pedophiles in their own church, or even their own family.

I'm not looking to offend people with what I'm saying. All I want is for you to take some time to think about what you believe and why you believe it in the first place. Look, maybe someone told you about God, heaven, and hell when you were younger, and it stuck in your head for years. You were taught to believe that following the bible was the way to go in life. You were taught that prayer was the best way to get what you wanted. Or even worse…you were taught to think that people who were different from you in any way were evil.

That's why I'm here. I'm here to give you a little kick in the pants and tell you that it's OK. I want to let you know that it's OK to question what you believe. It's OK to think for yourself. It's OK for you to not go along with everyone else. It's OK for you to disagree with someone about religion, even if they are friends or family. And it's definitely OK to live your truth as you see fit without judgment from ANYONE.

I don’t believe in God. So what? I read the Satanic Bible. Who cares? I’m coming off as angry and talking out of my ass. WHAT THE FUCK EVER!

I don't care anymore. I'm done pretending I'm not pissed off at the state of the country and the world. I'm done pretending not to be “offended" by every person who clogs up social media with God and Jesus all over the place. I'm done pretending to be OK with people using their religion as an excuse to be a dick.

Sure, I act nice when it matters…but just know that some of you don't deserve my kindness. Again, if you're “offended" by my words, then if the shoe fits…

I'm Denise, I'm a Satanist, and I approve this message.

I know I'm coming across as quite the angry diva. But trust me, if you've gone through what I've been through, wouldn't you feel the same?

But get this: My anger doesn't just stem from the religitards. I’m even angrier at the loser they all worship. Yeah, yeah, I know. Why am I so mad at something that I believe doesn't exist?

For starters, the bastard's wanted me dead since day one, being born to a crack addicted mother and all. But I fought hard and survived.

Over the years, God's made sure that I didn't have it easy. From being physically and emotionally abused at home, and bullied in school, to being diagnosed as mentally ill as a teenager, and being attacked when I was 20. He's pushed me to my limit with several severe bouts of depression in my 20s, and taking my mom away from me when I was 30. Hell, it was downright war just to make it to my 40s!

But in 2021, he took it to a whole new level.

So in May of last year, I was not at my best. I was having trouble keeping food down, and I had fallen several times. Ever since Memorial Day, I've bounced from hospitals to ICUs to rehab centers. In July, had to have surgery to remove a blockage in my colon because I was going into sepsis. I only know that because my sister told me. I have no memory of July through August. September is still kind of hazy. I found myself in a rehab center in October with a feeding tube in my stomach, and a colostomy bag. That month, I was also told by my sister that I was diabetic. So I struggled through life until November…but God wasn't finished with me yet.

Sometime after Thanksgiving, one of the nurses at the rehab center found me unconscious and sent me to the hospital. Again, I found out what went down through my sister. At some point, I regained consciousness in the ICU, but only for short amounts of time. All I remember from that time was Christmas music playing, my TV turned to the Food Network where Christmas Cookie Challenge was on every time I woke up, and one of the nurses showing me a picture of Constantine that my sister had printed out and adding “You Rock!" at the bottom. I don't remember whether I smiled or not.

Anyway, I woke up after midnight on Wednesday, December 15th. I couldn't believe I was still alive!  But now, I was paralyzed! As I lay in my hospital bed in the Pulmonary Critical Care Unit, I had a lot of time to think. And my main thoughts included “Why would God leave me paralyzed so close to Christmas?” It just wasn't fair! Hadn't that asshole put me through enough?

So here I am today, back at the rehab center with lots of time on my hands and thoughts in my head.  Sure, I'm thankful to still be here after everything that went down last year, but it’s all no thanks to God.  Guess what, bitch? I'm still standing.

For those of you that are thinking that I should be praising him for still being alive, you and God can suck it. I want no part of that asshole. I'm doing just fine without him, thank you very much. Sure, I have my moments, but I'm focused on me and taking care of myself. It all starts with getting rid of what no longer brings me joy…and God is one of those things.

So to God and all the religitards that keep pissing me off so royally, fuck you and the cross you rode in on.

 

Sunday, September 13, 2020

My Little Corners of the Internet

Here are links to where else you can find me online:

https://niecyspeaksthetruth.wordpress.com/ My earliest fanfic and poetry.

http://darkobsessionblog.wordpress.com My second Undertaker/Stephanie tribute blog.

http://undertakerandstephanie.tumblr.com My main Undertaker/Stephanie tribute Tumblr.

http://fuckyeahcojo.tumblr.com My Steven Cojocaru tribute Tumblr.

http://hellsyeahconstantine.tumblr.com My Constantine tribute Tumblr.

https://mrscojocaru.livejournal.com/ My LiveJournal.

http://fuckwadawards2.blogspot.com/ My blog where I “honor” fuckwads.

http://rockyourtruth.tumblr.com My pageant platform blog.

 

If you like my fanfic, then check out the reality of being me in "Niecy Rocks Her Truth", my podcast about anything and everything. Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and more!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/niecy-rocks-her-truth/id1457144838?uo=4

 

Niecy Rocks Her Truth 

 

https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy85OTRhNjg0L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz 

 

 

And the accompanying blog, Niecy Rocks Her Truth. https://niecyrockshertruth.home.blog/

And the sister Tumblr: http://niecyrockshertruth.tumblr.com

Where In The World Have I Been?

Well...I've been extremely busy being depressed, anxious, and all around just trying to take care of myself in the past couple of years. Counseling, self-help books, and other ways of dealing with life have gotten me through.
In that matter of time, so much has changed. For starters, we're in the middle of a global pandemic that has taken the lives of almost 190,000 Americans. But that's another blog.
The biggest news of the past several years? COJO SHAVED HIS HEAD!!! It's been 3 years and I still think it's the biggest mistake he's ever made. BUT OF COURSE, he still managed to make himself look fucking fabulous with the blonde shag he has grown in its place, so I can't be too mad at him. 
The other main change that has affected my life...I met Constantine!!! That's right! The royal me met the greatness that is Constantine Maroulis in February 2019 in Sedona, AZ. My girl, Judy, along with other fellow members of "The 30", got together and brought Constantine to her condo's clubhouse for an exclusive private concert. He performed songs from his new album, "Until I'm Wanted" (Available now wherever you buy/stream music), along with other rock classics...some even I've never heard of. But he won my heart with his rendition of "Black Magic Woman". It has become my new favorite song by him. Hell, it's even my e-mail tone on my phone!
But how did it change me, you ask? It led me to making an epic sacrifice.
I no longer write erotic Constantine fanfiction. I just can't. I grew to respect him as a person that night. He's just a man...incredibly gorgeous and extremely blessed with talent, but still just a man trying to do everything he can for his daughter and still have a successful career for himself, even in these crazy times.
So, bottom line? I'm still here, it's still me vs. that asshole God, and I'm destined for greatness...in some form or another.

Til the next time...

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

I'm Not Letting Him Win

I'm Not Letting Him Win

Every day I wake up, I win.

Every breath I take, I win.

Every time I step out into the world, I win.

Every time I eat something I love, I win.

Every good night's sleep I get, I win.

When I laugh or smile, I win.

When I make others laugh or smile, I win.

When I hear a song I love, I win.

When I unleash my creativity, I win.

And that's just the everyday victories.

I've won other times too.

I got to talk to my hero, so I've won.

I met the Undertaker and shook his hand, so I've won.

I've been to numerous Raws, Smackdowns and PPVs, including a Wrestlemania, so I've won.

I've held several national and international pageant titles, so I've won.

I got to see my muse perform live once, so far, so I've won.

I graduated high school early so I've won.

As you can see, I've won my fair share of battles in this war known as my life.

Yeah, I've also lost some, but I'm still here to fight another day.

You hear that, you bitch?

I'm not down for the count yet.

I've got more battles to look forward to...

And more victories to claim in my name.

Believe me when I say I'm coming in swinging...

And I'm going to knock you down a peg or two.

You're not beating me without a fight...

And a fight is what you'll get if you continue to mess with me.

I Don't Wish This On Anybody

I Don't Wish This On Anybody

The many racing thoughts that rush through my mind, minute by minute...

The sleepless nights laying in bed awake because nothing helps...

The continuing quest for "normalcy", to live like others I see...

The constant feeling that you're misunderstood and not being heard...

When you feel everything has to be your way, your way, or your way...

Always feeling inadequate, like you never fit in, like you don't belong...

The fear of being judged on everything you do, wear, and say...

Worrying because the slightest thing could send you into a nasty downward spiral...

Not feeling like doing anything, hiding from the world because you fear it will be a bad day to even be awake...

The constant need for distractions and fantasy because reality can be such a dick...

Bad memories and humiliating moments from the past replaying themselves at every opportunity...

Fear that your ailing body will betray you at any given moment...

Refusing to look at yourself because you completely hate the way you look...

Continuously fighting the urge to just give up and end it all...

Wondering if good things will happen because the majority of what you've experienced has been anything but...

The loneliness that comes with a lack of true friends who value you for who you are...

Questioning why in the world you're still here...

This is the life I live 24/7/365.

It's my sentence for being born...

And my punishment for still being alive.

It is pure, absolute hell.

I do not wish this on anybody.

I don't want anyone to live my life.

I want them to live theirs as best as they can.

Maybe they'll find the happiness that eludes me.

Maybe they'll find the peace that never comes to me.

Maybe they'll find the love that always disappoints me.

I wish them the best...

Because if I can't have everything I want out of life...

They should get anything they want in theirs.

And The Seconds Keep Ticking

And The Seconds Keep Ticking

Tick, tick, tick...

I wonder if things will ever change.

I wonder if things will improve.

I wonder if things will get worse.

Tick, tick, tick...

I wonder when something's going to happen.

I wonder how it's going to affect me.

Tick, tick, tick...

Will I be pleased with the results?

Will I be completely devastated?

Will it inspire me?

Will it destroy me?

Tick, tick, tick...

I wish I could stop waiting.

I wish I could get the answers I need.

I wish this torture would end.

Why am I waiting for the answers...

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

When time won't wait for me?

Taking That Step Forward

Taking That Step Forward

Looking at the world around me...

All the different paths...

All leading to who knows where.

So...what now?

Where do I go?

How do I know I'm doing the right thing?

Not exactly the right time to flip a coin...

And "eeny meeny miney moe" just won't cut it.

Only one other way to go.

One step forward...then another...then another.

What do you know? I'm actually going somewhere.

I may not know where I'm headed...

And I may take the occasional wrong turn along the way.

But once I reach my destination, I can look back with pride.

It all begins with taking that step forward...

And never looking back.