I'm Denise. I'm 37, and I'm a big girl. I'm biromantic demisexual. I'm a plus size pageant queen, the reigning America's Angelic Beauty. I'm a proud atheist, with some Satanic undertones. I'm an even prouder Capricorn. I don't work due to extenuating mental and physical health issues. I spent the better part of 10 years at community college with no degree to show for it.
I'm a part time writer, full time maladaptive daydreamer. I've been writing poetry and fanfiction for over 17 years. I'm working on several fanfics right now, including A Dark Nightmare Revisited and Damnation Arising, both of which can be found at fanfiction.net. I also do erotic fanfiction. My muses have been many including the Undertaker, Constantine Maroulis, and Steven Cojocaru.
I also enjoy cooking...and eating, reading (mostly Babysitters' Club and other erotic fanfiction), pageants, and being creative, which could mean anything from jewelry making to making signs on the computer.
Favorite TV shows include WWE Raw and WWE Smackdown, The Price Is Right, Arthur, Steve Wilkos, Jerry Springer, Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, Worst Cooks In America, The Real Housewives, Power Rangers, Rachael Ray, Ridiculousness, America's Test Kitchen, Cook's Country, Cooking with Nick Stellino, Simply Ming, Iron Chef, Mob Wives, Basketball Wives LA, Guilty Pleasures (a food show, get your minds out of the gutter), The Best Thing I Ever Ate/Made, Shahs of Sunset, Looney Tunes and King of the Hill, plus Cooking Channel and Food Network are my favorite channels.
My taste in music is eclectic. I like everything except religious music. My Undisputed Favorites playlist is filled with everything from Garth Brooks to Ren and Stimpy. My favorite singer? I'm obviously biased towards Constantine, but I also love Queen, Straight No Chaser, and Rockapella. Favorite songs include "I've Been In Love Before" by Cutting Crew, and "Fading Into You" and "Unchained Melody" by Constantine.
Obsessions? I have a few. I'm obsessed with Sailor Moon. Mainly Neo Queen Serenity. I love her crown and outfit, particularly in the original 90s anime, but I do wonder what it would be like to have people bow down to me and worship me.
I'm addicted to chocolate. I can go a day or so without it, but God help anyone that comes in contact with me on one of those days. LOL
I worship the fuck out of Steven Cojocaru. He's my idol, because he saved my life. He helped me through times when I was severely depressed and suicidal. He was going through kidney transplant ordeals, and his persistence and positivity inspired me to keep going on. I want to meet him face to face someday and thank him for being goals for my life.
WWE? Yes, please. Been hooked on WWE for over 20 years. Favorite wrestlers include the Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Roman Reigns and Shane McMahon. I've been to Summerslam in 2003, Wrestlemania in 2010 and Royal Rumble in 2013, plus other PPVs, Raws, Smackdowns and house shows.
When it comes to my mental health, I'm "officially" diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. But I KNOW I have depression, anxiety, trichotillomania, dermatillomania, autism (Was diagnosed at 3), adult ADHD, and PTSD stemming from years of physical child abuse and bullying, plus an attack in 2000.
Physically, I'm fat (and ugly), plus I have asthma, GERD, endometriosis, sleep apnea, and hypothyroidism. I also have back pain that comes on when standing or walking and only goes away when I sit or lay down.
If I want anything to be taken away from my story, it would be that you can survive if you put your mind to it. I know. I'm a survivor. I'm living the best way I know how and that's through taking life one day at a time. If it happens, it's OK. If it doesn't, that's OK too. Just do your best, day by day. Try not to beat yourself up too much. Find at least one thing that brings you joy (because come on, you know you have one), but keep it in perspective. Stay grounded in reality. Life may suck sometimes, but it's the only one you've got, so take advantage of it.
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