Confession Sunday 6/18/17

Confession: I struggle with celebrity obsession. It goes beyond merely being a fan. It takes over every aspect of my life. For me, it's usually harmless. I fantasize about them, and I write fan fiction about them. No big deal, right?
Well, one of my celebrity obsessions has gotten the better of me more than once.
(Out of respect, I will not name said celebrity.)
I became a fan of celebrity in 2004 after seeing them on TV. I taped every show they were on, and I bought both of their books (even got a couple of copies autographed), and I made their health issues my pageant platform for a few years.
When I was going through severe depression in 2005, their comeback story inspired me to continue living when I really want to.
I found them on Twitter in 2009 and immediately followed them. I told them they saved my life and I was on good terms with them for a while. But then, I admit I got cocky because this person was actually talking to me. So now I was responding to all of their statuses, until one day, they'd had enough and blocked me. That devastated me enough to go into a second severe depression for the rest of 2009 and some of 2010.
In 2010, I began following this person again under a different name, and we went back and forth for several years, even video chatting once in one of the greatest moments of my life.
In 2015, it all changed. I casually asked them a couple of questions. Moments later, I discovered they'd blocked me again, both on Twitter and Instagram. So I got desperate and created new accounts. Finally, it came to a head in December 2015. After blocking me for a third time, they publically called me out. So I quit while I was behind.
That, of course, devastated and destroyed me beyond belief. For all of 2016, I was just done with everything. I was begging to just die and let it end. I just did not care. Because if this person wasn't in my life, what was the point of living anyway?
Fortunately, it took a shitload of counseling to deal with my pain and convince me to move on. So I wrote this person a letter and e-mailed it on New Year's Day. A day later, I realized that I was going to be OK, with or without their response.
Fast forward almost 6 months later...I still keep up with this person on social media, but I force myself to not like their statuses, no matter how funny they are. Yeah, it's a hard struggle...but despite it all, I still want to meet this person and at least give them a hug and thank them for being a huge inspiration in my life.
Until next time...