Confession: I struggle with celebrity obsession. It goes beyond merely being a fan. It takes over every aspect of my life. For me, it's usually harmless. I fantasize about them, and I write fan fiction about them. No big deal, right?
Well, one of my celebrity obsessions has gotten the better of me more than once.
(Out of respect, I will not name said celebrity.)
I became a fan of celebrity in 2004 after seeing them on TV. I taped every show they were on, and I bought both of their books (even got a couple of copies autographed), and I made their health issues my pageant platform for a few years.
When I was going through severe depression in 2005, their comeback story inspired me to continue living when I really want to.
I found them on Twitter in 2009 and immediately followed them. I told them they saved my life and I was on good terms with them for a while. But then, I admit I got cocky because this person was actually talking to me. So now I was responding to all of their statuses, until one day, they'd had enough and blocked me. That devastated me enough to go into a second severe depression for the rest of 2009 and some of 2010.
In 2010, I began following this person again under a different name, and we went back and forth for several years, even video chatting once in one of the greatest moments of my life.
In 2015, it all changed. I casually asked them a couple of questions. Moments later, I discovered they'd blocked me again, both on Twitter and Instagram. So I got desperate and created new accounts. Finally, it came to a head in December 2015. After blocking me for a third time, they publically called me out. So I quit while I was behind.
That, of course, devastated and destroyed me beyond belief. For all of 2016, I was just done with everything. I was begging to just die and let it end. I just did not care. Because if this person wasn't in my life, what was the point of living anyway?
Fortunately, it took a shitload of counseling to deal with my pain and convince me to move on. So I wrote this person a letter and e-mailed it on New Year's Day. A day later, I realized that I was going to be OK, with or without their response.
Fast forward almost 6 months later...I still keep up with this person on social media, but I force myself to not like their statuses, no matter how funny they are. Yeah, it's a hard struggle...but despite it all, I still want to meet this person and at least give them a hug and thank them for being a huge inspiration in my life.
Until next time...
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Confession Sunday 6/18/17
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
United By Tragedy-Prologue and Part One
United By Tragedy
Author's Notes and shit: This is the third series I'm proud to present to you. What happens when you watch too much Sailor Moon R? This fanfic starring my muse, Constantine Maroulis. I am obsessed with Neo Queen Serenity and the idea of Crystal Tokyo. Of course, I often imagine what it would be like to reign as queen over the whole world. But I digress.
This is not my usual erotica. I guess you could call it an alternate universe version of my character, Ashleigh. This fanfic contains some violence and some questionable sexual situations that might be an unwelcome trigger for some people.
Prologue
In a rose garden, a young girl sat on a bench. She absentmindedly played with her pearl bracelet, a gift given to her by her father.
"Daddy..." She said quietly as a tear slipped down her cheek.
The tragic scene replayed itself in her head.
*flashback*
"You don't have to do this. Just put the gun down."
"No!"
"Listen to me. Just calm down, and give me the gun."
"I won't let you or anyone else come between us!"
"Please, stop!"
"NO!"
A shot rang out and a man fell to the ground. The girl came into the room and ran next to him.
"Daddy? Daddy!"
*end flashback*
"Princess?"
Her thoughts were interrupted by a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see a young man standing next to her.
"How's Daddy?"
The man shook his head.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. "Will he be OK?"
"I don't know. It's too soon to know for sure."
"I want Daddy to be all right again."
"The doctors are doing everything they can to save him. All we can do is wait."
She looked down and sniffled. "Daddy..."
The man gently stroked her hair. "I know you're having a hard time right now. I had a conversation with Mom, and she's decided it's best if you weren't here."
"But I want to be here for Daddy."
"I know you do, but we need you to carry out a very important mission for us."
"What kind of mission?"
"You want to save Dad, right?" She nodded. "Well, come with me. I'll explain everything."
Part 1
It was a bright, sunny day in Brooklyn, N Y. Kids were playing, families were celebrating, and love was in the air...
And Constantine and Ashleigh Maroulis were feeling that love.
The couple was out in the park, feeding the ducks in the river. Soon, they ran out of bread and began walking, hand in hand, down the cement path.
They sat down on a bench and watched as the sun began to set in the sky.
"I love watching the sun go down." Ashleigh said. "Especially when I have someone to watch it with."
"A wonderful day...which hopefully leads to a wonderful night." Constantine added.
The two kissed in the shadow of the sun. He pulled her into his lap and deepened the kiss. They just stayed there for a while, making out as the crowds thinned out and people started to go home for the day.
Nearby, a head peeked out from behind a tree. The person watched Constantine and Ashleigh as they made out.
Ashleigh pulled away from her husband.
"What's wrong?" Constantine asked, concerned.
"I don't know. I just got this chill up my spine."
"Is it too cold for you?"
"No, nothing like that. I just have this strange feeling that our lives are about to be shaken up."
"Hmmm. I wonder what brought that on."
"I don't know...but I suggest we enjoy this moment while we have it. Who knows what could happen next?"
"I think I might have some idea." He leaned in and kissed her again, as if they hadn't stopped.
"Ahem."
Constantine broke the kiss and looked over his wife's shoulder.
In front of him was a young girl, with light brown skin and long brown hair. She was wearing a school uniform and a backpack on her back.
"You OK?" Ashleigh asked.
"Sorry, but it looks like we have company."
She turned around and saw the girl facing them. She hurriedly got off of Constantine's lap and straightened her clothes.
"I'm sorry." She quickly apologized. "I didn't realize anyone was watching us."
"Don't worry about it." The girl said. "My parents kiss all the time. I think it's sweet."
"Awww."
"Well, how can we help you?" Constantine asked.
"Are you Constantine from American Idol?"
"The very same."
"Great! Come on! There's no time to lose." The girl grabbed his hand and tried to pull him off the bench.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." He stopped her in her tracks. "What's going on?"
"I need you to come with me right now."
"Hold it. Why does he have to go with you?" Ashleigh asked.
"My father's in grave danger and I have to bring Constantine home with me."
"But why?"
The girl ignored Ashleigh's questions and continued to pull Constantine with her. "Come on! My daddy needs you!"
"Hold on!" Constantine said loudly. "I'm sorry, but I can't just go off with you unless you tell us what's going on."
"I'll tell you once we get there. Let's go!" She said impatiently.
"Hold it!" Ashleigh practically yelled. She guided the girl over to her and looked in her eyes. "Look, young lady. We're willing to help you with whatever is going on, but we can't until you tell us why you need my husband to go with you so badly."
"Your husband?" The girl asked. Ashleigh nodded. "So that would make you Ashleigh."
"Yes."
She let go of Constantine's hand and pulled off a perfect curtsy. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Why, thank you. And what's your name?"
"K.C."
"Well, it's nice to meet you, too."
"OK. Now we've met each other." Constantine interjected. "Now what do you need from me?"
"You have to help my daddy. He's been hurt and only you can save him." K.C. pleaded.
"Listen." He said as he took her hand. "I'd really love to help you and your father...but it's not a good night for me. I have a concert later tonight that I have to get ready for, so I can't go with you."
"You can't?" K.C. asked tearfully.
"I'm really sorry. But if there's anything else I can do-"
"You sound just like my daddy!" She cried and turned to run away.
"K.C.! Wait!" Ashleigh called to her, hoping to stop her.
K.C. paused. "Why? Constantine won't help me, so what's the point?"
"I didn't say I wouldn't help. I just said that tonight's not the best night for me to help you." Constantine explained.
"So you will help me?"
"Of course. But you have to understand that I just can't drop everything for someone I don't know a lot about. I'd like to get to know you better before I meet your father."
"Speaking of parents...where is your mother?" Ashleigh asked. "Does she know you're out here by yourself?"
"Of course. She was the one who sent me here." K.C. responded.
"Really? Well, I don't like the idea of a little girl in this big city all by herself. Do you have family that are here with you?"
"No. My whole family's back home."
"Are you kidding me? Who in their right mind would send a little girl to Brooklyn to fend for herself?"
"My parents love me." K.C. said defensively.
"I'm not questioning that they love you. But I am questioning their judgment in letting you run around out here all alone. You can't trust anyone out here these days."
"I know. That's why my mom told that I had to find Constantine. She said he would take good care of me."
"What?!" Both Ashleigh and Constantine exclaimed.
"She said that I had to stay with him and his wife until I was ready to come back."
"Oh, my...Ashleigh...a word with you, please?" Constantine asked of his wife.
"Of course. K.C., you wait here. I think we have some things to discuss."
"It's cool." K.C. replied.
Ashleigh and Constantine took a few steps back, but not too far, so they could keep an eye on K.C.
"What the hell? She expects to stay with us!" Constantine whispered loudly.
"I know, but-"
"What are we supposed to do?"
"Do we have any other choice? We can't just leave her out here to roam the city by herself."
"You're right about that. But we absolutely have to get her back with her family as soon as possible, whoever and wherever they are."
"Fair enough."
The couple walked back to K.C.
"K. C.?" Ashleigh asked.
"Yeah?"
"Constantine and I have talked it over...and we'd love for you to stay with us."
"Really?"
"Yes. But only until we contact your family and get you back home, wherever that is." Constantine said.
"Yeah!" K.C. excitedly hugged Constantine. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"We're glad to do it." Ashleigh said as K.C. went to hug her.
The second she wrapped her arms around K.C., she saw in her mind a gun being fired. Ashleigh gasped at her vision.
"What's the matter?" Constantine asked.
"Oh, it's nothing. I thought I saw something. Never mind." She slipped her hand into K.C.'s. "Come on, let's go home."
"OK."
"You ready, Constantine?"
"Yeah. Let's go." He replied.
The two walked ahead of Constantine. He walked behind them and watched them.
'Ashleigh was definitely right about our lives being shaken up. But K.C....I have a lot of questions about this girl. Where did you come from...and why are you here?'
*******
Meanwhile, on the other side of town, a woman appeared from an alley.
"So this is Brooklyn in the year 2017. Far from the dump I expected it to be...but overall, not a bad place. Operation: Bring The Princess Home starts now. If this goes according to plan, I just might be able to redeem myself in her father's eyes. He'll see that I'm worthy of being part of the family. Then I'll take my destiny by the hand and all of my dreams will come true."
Author's Notes and shit: This is the third series I'm proud to present to you. What happens when you watch too much Sailor Moon R? This fanfic starring my muse, Constantine Maroulis. I am obsessed with Neo Queen Serenity and the idea of Crystal Tokyo. Of course, I often imagine what it would be like to reign as queen over the whole world. But I digress.
This is not my usual erotica. I guess you could call it an alternate universe version of my character, Ashleigh. This fanfic contains some violence and some questionable sexual situations that might be an unwelcome trigger for some people.
Prologue
In a rose garden, a young girl sat on a bench. She absentmindedly played with her pearl bracelet, a gift given to her by her father.
"Daddy..." She said quietly as a tear slipped down her cheek.
The tragic scene replayed itself in her head.
*flashback*
"You don't have to do this. Just put the gun down."
"No!"
"Listen to me. Just calm down, and give me the gun."
"I won't let you or anyone else come between us!"
"Please, stop!"
"NO!"
A shot rang out and a man fell to the ground. The girl came into the room and ran next to him.
"Daddy? Daddy!"
*end flashback*
"Princess?"
Her thoughts were interrupted by a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see a young man standing next to her.
"How's Daddy?"
The man shook his head.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. "Will he be OK?"
"I don't know. It's too soon to know for sure."
"I want Daddy to be all right again."
"The doctors are doing everything they can to save him. All we can do is wait."
She looked down and sniffled. "Daddy..."
The man gently stroked her hair. "I know you're having a hard time right now. I had a conversation with Mom, and she's decided it's best if you weren't here."
"But I want to be here for Daddy."
"I know you do, but we need you to carry out a very important mission for us."
"What kind of mission?"
"You want to save Dad, right?" She nodded. "Well, come with me. I'll explain everything."
Part 1
It was a bright, sunny day in Brooklyn, N Y. Kids were playing, families were celebrating, and love was in the air...
And Constantine and Ashleigh Maroulis were feeling that love.
The couple was out in the park, feeding the ducks in the river. Soon, they ran out of bread and began walking, hand in hand, down the cement path.
They sat down on a bench and watched as the sun began to set in the sky.
"I love watching the sun go down." Ashleigh said. "Especially when I have someone to watch it with."
"A wonderful day...which hopefully leads to a wonderful night." Constantine added.
The two kissed in the shadow of the sun. He pulled her into his lap and deepened the kiss. They just stayed there for a while, making out as the crowds thinned out and people started to go home for the day.
Nearby, a head peeked out from behind a tree. The person watched Constantine and Ashleigh as they made out.
Ashleigh pulled away from her husband.
"What's wrong?" Constantine asked, concerned.
"I don't know. I just got this chill up my spine."
"Is it too cold for you?"
"No, nothing like that. I just have this strange feeling that our lives are about to be shaken up."
"Hmmm. I wonder what brought that on."
"I don't know...but I suggest we enjoy this moment while we have it. Who knows what could happen next?"
"I think I might have some idea." He leaned in and kissed her again, as if they hadn't stopped.
"Ahem."
Constantine broke the kiss and looked over his wife's shoulder.
In front of him was a young girl, with light brown skin and long brown hair. She was wearing a school uniform and a backpack on her back.
"You OK?" Ashleigh asked.
"Sorry, but it looks like we have company."
She turned around and saw the girl facing them. She hurriedly got off of Constantine's lap and straightened her clothes.
"I'm sorry." She quickly apologized. "I didn't realize anyone was watching us."
"Don't worry about it." The girl said. "My parents kiss all the time. I think it's sweet."
"Awww."
"Well, how can we help you?" Constantine asked.
"Are you Constantine from American Idol?"
"The very same."
"Great! Come on! There's no time to lose." The girl grabbed his hand and tried to pull him off the bench.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." He stopped her in her tracks. "What's going on?"
"I need you to come with me right now."
"Hold it. Why does he have to go with you?" Ashleigh asked.
"My father's in grave danger and I have to bring Constantine home with me."
"But why?"
The girl ignored Ashleigh's questions and continued to pull Constantine with her. "Come on! My daddy needs you!"
"Hold on!" Constantine said loudly. "I'm sorry, but I can't just go off with you unless you tell us what's going on."
"I'll tell you once we get there. Let's go!" She said impatiently.
"Hold it!" Ashleigh practically yelled. She guided the girl over to her and looked in her eyes. "Look, young lady. We're willing to help you with whatever is going on, but we can't until you tell us why you need my husband to go with you so badly."
"Your husband?" The girl asked. Ashleigh nodded. "So that would make you Ashleigh."
"Yes."
She let go of Constantine's hand and pulled off a perfect curtsy. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Why, thank you. And what's your name?"
"K.C."
"Well, it's nice to meet you, too."
"OK. Now we've met each other." Constantine interjected. "Now what do you need from me?"
"You have to help my daddy. He's been hurt and only you can save him." K.C. pleaded.
"Listen." He said as he took her hand. "I'd really love to help you and your father...but it's not a good night for me. I have a concert later tonight that I have to get ready for, so I can't go with you."
"You can't?" K.C. asked tearfully.
"I'm really sorry. But if there's anything else I can do-"
"You sound just like my daddy!" She cried and turned to run away.
"K.C.! Wait!" Ashleigh called to her, hoping to stop her.
K.C. paused. "Why? Constantine won't help me, so what's the point?"
"I didn't say I wouldn't help. I just said that tonight's not the best night for me to help you." Constantine explained.
"So you will help me?"
"Of course. But you have to understand that I just can't drop everything for someone I don't know a lot about. I'd like to get to know you better before I meet your father."
"Speaking of parents...where is your mother?" Ashleigh asked. "Does she know you're out here by yourself?"
"Of course. She was the one who sent me here." K.C. responded.
"Really? Well, I don't like the idea of a little girl in this big city all by herself. Do you have family that are here with you?"
"No. My whole family's back home."
"Are you kidding me? Who in their right mind would send a little girl to Brooklyn to fend for herself?"
"My parents love me." K.C. said defensively.
"I'm not questioning that they love you. But I am questioning their judgment in letting you run around out here all alone. You can't trust anyone out here these days."
"I know. That's why my mom told that I had to find Constantine. She said he would take good care of me."
"What?!" Both Ashleigh and Constantine exclaimed.
"She said that I had to stay with him and his wife until I was ready to come back."
"Oh, my...Ashleigh...a word with you, please?" Constantine asked of his wife.
"Of course. K.C., you wait here. I think we have some things to discuss."
"It's cool." K.C. replied.
Ashleigh and Constantine took a few steps back, but not too far, so they could keep an eye on K.C.
"What the hell? She expects to stay with us!" Constantine whispered loudly.
"I know, but-"
"What are we supposed to do?"
"Do we have any other choice? We can't just leave her out here to roam the city by herself."
"You're right about that. But we absolutely have to get her back with her family as soon as possible, whoever and wherever they are."
"Fair enough."
The couple walked back to K.C.
"K. C.?" Ashleigh asked.
"Yeah?"
"Constantine and I have talked it over...and we'd love for you to stay with us."
"Really?"
"Yes. But only until we contact your family and get you back home, wherever that is." Constantine said.
"Yeah!" K.C. excitedly hugged Constantine. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"We're glad to do it." Ashleigh said as K.C. went to hug her.
The second she wrapped her arms around K.C., she saw in her mind a gun being fired. Ashleigh gasped at her vision.
"What's the matter?" Constantine asked.
"Oh, it's nothing. I thought I saw something. Never mind." She slipped her hand into K.C.'s. "Come on, let's go home."
"OK."
"You ready, Constantine?"
"Yeah. Let's go." He replied.
The two walked ahead of Constantine. He walked behind them and watched them.
'Ashleigh was definitely right about our lives being shaken up. But K.C....I have a lot of questions about this girl. Where did you come from...and why are you here?'
*******
Meanwhile, on the other side of town, a woman appeared from an alley.
"So this is Brooklyn in the year 2017. Far from the dump I expected it to be...but overall, not a bad place. Operation: Bring The Princess Home starts now. If this goes according to plan, I just might be able to redeem myself in her father's eyes. He'll see that I'm worthy of being part of the family. Then I'll take my destiny by the hand and all of my dreams will come true."
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